Monthly Archives: January 2010

So much fun experimenting the past few days.

It started out with an attempt at some self portraits. Need to work on my flash settings. Taking a flash class at the end of the month. Should help.

Then in the middle of a diaper disaster last night, I discovered that a lovely blanket of fog had rolled in. An hour later, we were downtown taking some shots (unfortunately the fog had lifted quite a bit by then).

Which of the two gate pictures do you like better and why? Please tell me! I’m considering one of these two for my living room . . .

Then, to top it all off, when I woke up this morning, the trees were glistening in hoar frost – the perfect opportunity to practice some macro shots with my new 50mm 1.8 lens!

Today was one of those days . . .

The culmination of one of those weeks.

Nothing was enough, and it all was too much.

And then . . .

Tonight, after returning from date night -

the kids were still awake, and started fussing when we came in.

I went in to coo and cuddle them back to bed.

I sat down by Calvin and asked if I could sing him a song.

“Child of God” he said.

I sang all three verses . . . twice.

And then moved through my entire repertoire of lullaby’s and primary songs.

Finally, as I could think of nothing else to sing -

And Cal’s heavy eyes had finally just closed . . .

Olivia said (from the top bunk, who also had been making serenade requests)

Spontaneously and sweetly:

“Mom . . .”

“I love you.”

And then the day melted away, as the babies, into sleep.

I’ve been talking with some friends lately about guilt – the concept and the application in life, and how I don’t have it.

And since it’s now 5:40 am en la manyana, and I can’t sleep, how ’bout a little blogging time.

When I say I don’t feel guilt, I’m only half joking. It’s kinda that concept they teach in Releif Society – compassion. (See, I seem to learn some lessons very well.)

In releif society they always talk about the importance of compassion on those around us, (another conversation), AND that we should have compassion on ourselves. And I think that’s where I’m at. Am I perfect? @(#*! No. But am I trying to do better in all areas of my life, constantly working to draw closer to the Lord, and be better at fulfilling my earthly responsibilities? Yes.

And in that sense, if I were an outside person looking in on myself, I would tell myself to keep working and move forward, not get bogged down by guilt.

See my reasoning?

Now, there’s the flip side of guilt – the reason I believe Heavenly Father gives us that emotion or sensitivity to the Spirit. To me, at 5:46 in the morning, it is two fold:

1) To prick our conscience into humility and repentance. But any priesthood leader will tell you, once you’ve repented, you MUST move on. This is the “don’t get bogged down” stuff (see above).

2) To motivate us to become better – in my case a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor, and daughter of my Heavenly Father.

But I’m not motivated by guilt. Indeed, the very concept that someone would tell me I need to feel guilt is lame. Don’t I already work so hard at the above? If someone told me that what I was doing was simply not good enough (and I know it’s not, but if someone actually told me that) then I would lay in bed the rest of my life, and give up. I would be so overwhelmed by the enormity of it all.

And this comes into parenting, and Heavenly Father’s perfect at it. He doesn’t seem to motivate me by guilt. But does that mean I’m not motivated? Nope. I definately am.

Here’s the secret. My motivation: FEAR.

My personality gives me plenty of it.

Fear that I’m going to be such a crappy mom that my kids are going to have sad, hard lives (cue the waterworks at 5:52 am).

Fear that when I lose my temper with the kids it’s going to turn into a long term effect and . . . I’m going to ruin them.

Fear that if I’m too soft and woozy my kids will turn into ill-functioning disasters.

Fear that if I’m too strick or demanding my kids will hate me.

Fear that I’m going to be foolish financially, and my family will suffer.

Fear that the dinners I make are going to have bad health effects.

Fear that if I don’t have just the right relationship with Heavenly Father, I won’t be in tune enough to prevent all of the above.

So – the question then becomes . . . when one has these feelings, be it guilt or fear, how does one move forward, and not be so crippled that you can’t see past the horrible into the wonderful?

For me, Heavenly Father sends me people every once in a long while that remind me:

We must move forward with faith. We cannot see the end from the beginning. But no matter how life turns out, Heavenly Father has promised that in the eternities there will be a lot of joy and happiness getting spread aroud.

Proceeded (I imagine) by years of Heavenly Counseling.

*For my kiddies when you are adults, if you are reading this: I’m sorry for all the times I didn’t when I should have, or did when I oughn’t. Please, please, please know I love you.

Today, after wrestling the kids

through an afternoon of grocery shopping,and having a *Walmart mom moment in the middle of Costco (you know, those moms who yell at their kids in front of everyone ), we finally made it home. I turned around and beheld:

I couldn’t bear to wake the little monsters up. (Said most lovingly).

I wanted to take a nap too.

Darn those bucket seats – not so comfy for a nap.

So instead:

I practiced taking self pictures. Set on timer with the camera balanced on the seat belt buckle to prop it up at the right angle. Apparently I was too close for autofocus.

Self portraits give you an opportunity to express yourself.

I love my shoes.

1. They have a fish on them. Who doesn’t love shoes with a fish painted on em?

2. They don’t have laces. Slip ons are much more condusive to my lifestyle.

How ’bout a little play with shallow depth of field?

I am a proud driver of a Toyota MINIVAN!

How ’bout messing around with long exposures?

I really wish I was asleep like the kiddos in the back.

I should smile more.

How bout a close up?

Too close?

Sexy isn’t really my style.

That’s more like it.

Ahh! Look at my ring. Heart pitter patter.

And there are my other rings – my friendship ring from ee, my 5 year saphire ring from W. And my map of the universe from my brother Larry. All great stories. Someday I’ll tell them to you.

THE eND.

Me in my purple-and-green-zig-zag-striped-shirt in my freshman year of college. You can still catch me in this shirt on a regular basis. In fact, I think I’ll wear it today

2008 was a successful year in terms of personal progress. I accomplished my goals in good style. As I reflect on that particular year, two things stand out to me: 1) my goals for the year weren’t to change anything I wasn’t already doing, but rather to focus, and improve in areas where I already was working. And 2) I didn’t go overboard with a page long list of areas in my life that needed improvement (although I certainly have such a list), instead I only made a few goals, and let the rest of my life continue in at the level it was already functioning. If I tried to overload myself with too many goals, I would become overwhelmed at my failure and in six weeks time drop everything.

And so, with these lessons in mind:

Goals for 2010

PERSONAL
1) Become good at laundry. I am good at laundry. I know what temperature to wash what load in. I know how to separate, and how to spot treat, and how to press and blah blah blah. But I hate laundry. Correction: Andrea pre-2010 hated laundry. This year I am going to not only accept it as part of house-wifery, but embrace it as an art form (well, maybe that’s a stretch). I’m going to stay on top of it, so that I never have to hear Wyatt say at 7:45 pm – “Where are the kid’s jammies?” And I won’t have to curse (in my head of course, not in front of the children! Gasp.) I’m going to have laundry done, and put away in good measure.

2) Become a FASHIONISTA. You see, I’m one of those girls. The ones that are still wearing their favorite shirt from their freshman year of college. The ones that got perma-stuck in the year of their nuptuals. The ones that still sport a mullet AND think it’s awesome (well, I didn’t get married in 1985. But if I did . . . ay carumba!) But no more. The sad realization came just a few weeks ago when Wyatt and I were at Wal-mart. WALMART! And I bought two shirts out of sheer neccessity. And I thought to myself as I put them in the cart: I can’t remember the last time I bought two shirts at the same time. Then, just days later Carrie showed me a coat she got – so SO SOOOO cute. And I thought – if I shopped more, I could have clothes like that.

And so 2010 is the year I’m going to start being more stylish. I’m going to stop being one of those girls, and instead become one of those girls. Watch out!

ARTISTIC

1) Start a nice little photography business. I’ve talked about it, made sad little attempts over the years. But the past couple months I’ve felt more confident, more able, and more ready. So I’m teetering on the edge of the nest, about to jump.

2) Quilting. 2010 is the year I finally embrace this art form that I’ve always admired from afar. I want to make quilts to fill my cabin. I want trunks full of handmade softness that will keep my loved ones warm and cozy on cold nights.

And that’s it. See, not so many goals that I’m overwhelmed. Of course there’s the continual progress of becoming a better mother and wifey. But I think the above will improve all areas of my life. It’s going to be awesome.

Check me out in 2011!

O and Cal are in the next room, playing house. Olivia LOVES to play house. Really, who doesn’t?

Then I hear her instructing Cal: “Lift up your shirt.”

My ears perk and my brow furrows. Where is she going with this?

Then: “Now put baby Hobbes up to your tummy and he will eat you.”

Bah!

Later we had a discussion about how Cal will never EVER nurse anyone.

Boys aren’t so lucky. So I’m told.

For Olivia: a doll house.

Or a pony house as the case may be.

For her to play with to her little girl hearts content.

Cal in front of Grandma and Grandpa’s tree . . .
a tree that will become Christensen family legend.

The week after Christmas was jam packed and full of fun. After a rousing three days at the Christensen home, where Wyatt’s brothers Wynn and Jacob and families came to town, we packed up our minivan and headed south for a two day jaunt in Manti. Visiting the Smiths in Manti is always fun and relaxing. We watched movies, read books, took naps and ate mo’ yummy food.

Tuesday Wyatt had to return for some meetings. Then we hung out with the Christensen’s for the next two days. We’re glad Wynn and Heidi were able to stay so long. Then yesterday I took some engagement pics for Leslee and Jason and otherwise hung out until we went over to the Engh’s to celebrate New Years Eve. With the bambinos we only lasted ’til a little after ten. But it was a fun night and great way to almost ring in the new year.

This morning Jeff and Lena came over for waffles (Wyatt got me a sweet waffle iron for Christmas). Then we spent the morning hanging out and playing rock band.

Now it is officially quiet time. Everett is asleep in his crib and O and Cal are playing in their room, under threat of who-knows-what if they come out.

And I am blogging.

And editing pictures.

And enjoying that Christmas this year was so successful.

And on Monday we get to go back to a routine and schedule and normal life.

This year I tackled quite a few home-made gifts. Every couple years I do a lot of home-made stuff, and then I remember not to do it again! While the projects are fun, it’s hard to work under a deadline.

For Everett this year I made him a sock monkey.

I know you can buy these at any toy store, but somehow a home made one seemed much more appropriate. I want my little Ev to know his mamma loves him. And so a home-made sock monkey it was.

For Calvin I made a Hobbes.

You have to understand, I’ve wanted to make a Hobbes for Cal since before Calvin came to be.

People sometimes ask: “Did you name Calvin after Calvin and Hobbes?” To which I frown and think inwardly “that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” and outwardly say: “no, I just like the name Calvin for what it is” which is the truth.

But it doesn’t hurt that Calvin in C&H is adorable.

And so before Cal came I searched high and wide for a perfect orange cozy terrycloth with which to make a tiger.

Do you know how hard it is to find orange terrycloth at the fabric store?!

I finally got some orange towels at Walmart.

And then it was a disaster.

And Wyatt was annoyed.

And the cut up orange terrycloth towels sat in my basement for almost two years . . . reminding Wyatt every time he went down that he was annoyed. And reminding me every time I went down that Cal still didn’t have his Hobbes.

And then this Christmas rolled around.

And the idea of sock monkeys came to me.

And then the idea of a Hobbes using the sock monkey pattern came to me.

And then the perfect fuzzy orange chenille socks from Old Navy came to me.

And then the perfect fuzzy orange chenille socks from Old Navy came to me on sale.

And Hobbes came to be.

And Calvin came to have his Hobbes.