Samples of conversations I had today:

Calvin: Mom, you should get me some video games.

Me: Why?

Calvin: Because big kids like video games and I’m trying to act like a big kid.


Everett: How do you take her dress off? (Handing me one of Olivia’s Barbie dolls).

I give it a tug here, a pull there, and hand it back to him almost undressed.

At which point he starts laughing and walking away.

“Naked girl (giggle) naked girl (giggle) naked girl!”

(Pervy boy!)


Calvin: Mom, how old do you have to be to get a cell phone.

Me: mmm . . . twenty.

Calvin, looking at me skeptically, as if this is a negotiation and he can win: How about 16?

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