Last night Leslee came over and painted my toes. I’ve always made her give me a pedicure before each baby. I think this time she was sick of it because she bought me a gift certificate for a mani/pedi. But alas, I was too late to make my appointment, so she came and gave me one anyway. We’ll go for the salon treatment after the baby comes.
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After she left, I was in tears. I was so sore, and I just wanted this baby to come, and my doctors appointment earlier that day had been so discouraging. I finally asked Wyatt for a blessing.
In the blessing he told me to be patient while I wait for this baby to come (and lots of other comforting things). I tried to imagine baby Boy, his last moments in Heaven, receiving his final instruction. I don’t know if that’s how it goes down or not, but I was sure I didn’t want to be the cause of a sooner-than-planned send off from Heaven.
So I decided I could be patient.
And all night while I slept, I thought about how I really wanted to go into labor, to have this baby. But then I kept remembering that I was supposed to be patient. And the conflicting realities made my sleep rather restless.
Finally I got up at six am, no longer willing to have this mental battle while trying to sleep. I came and sat on the couch and watched the grey morning light and listened to absolute silence and tried to figure out just how one goes about being patient for something one has NO patience for.
And I decided that gratitude is the key.
Gratitude that even though I’m not going into labor, I’m not one who is in labor for a month before the baby comes (that sounds really uncomfortable and annoying. I’ve always been able to be active all they way up to the very very end).
Gratitude that my sunflowers are blooming, because all winter long when I was sick, I imagined what it would be like to bring my baby home to a backyard of sunflowers.
And gratitude that I do have more time to finish more projects. Because certainly, the projects never end.
And gratitude that Wyatt is getting so much done. Good grief, the list goes on and on with what he’s done around here the past two weeks. (As I type this he is assembling three new dressers, one for each boy).
Gratitude that there is still a constant flow of help and service by those around me – friends who take my kids while I nap, or are available on a moments notice for fun maternity pictures, and sisters who paint my toe nails, even though they didn’t want to.
And especially gratitude that I have three healthy, happy, rambunctious children, who have been drilled all week to not make a mess, and still are happy as can be.
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After I determined all this, I decided I would fill my time with work – the surest way to distraction and satisfaction. So today I set about again to accomplish things:
-Really put the baby room together, cleaned out the closet, set up the baby monitor, hung new mobile, washed chair cover and newborn clothes.
-Cleaned the house to a respectable level, including this mess . . .
- They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I think of this every time I clean my kitchen.
-Got three new dressers for boys rooms. YEAH!
So all in all it was a good day. Hurray for babies – coming in their own due time.