I’m having a hard day. Are you surprised? It’s actually a bad day after a series of bad days. But I’m off to the doctor in a half hour. Hopefully that will make me happy. If nothing else, I should hear a heartbeat, which is like a shot of “I can do it” happiness.
In the mean time I thought I’d post an old paper from my notebook. I thumbed through my notebook of college writings, looking for something. I found pieces titled The Satyricon, Dinner with Trimalchio or Song of the Seeress, or Mysticism and Me (written in a very cool 90’s font), or how about Confessions by St. Augustine, Scio Deus, The Divine Attributes or Redeeming Job.
I chuckle to myself as I thumb through my papers – great thoughts on great thoughts. Goodness, but I took myself too seriously in college.
And took way to many philosophy and religion classes (not the Mormon kind).
And now, my brain has to translate just the titles. If it doesn’t have to do with potty training or how to get a three year old to stay out of fridge, my brain does not comprehend.
And my language is lost in the work of my very ordinary life. Titles in Latin? Now more like rudimentary potty language.
But I remember (only vaguely now) that the discussion was fun. The way I would once be thrilled by a new proof of the goodness, I am now thrilled by a clean bathroom. And life moves in circles. And now my sisters take themselves seriously. And ask for advice, and mean it when they are sure that the answer will change the whole course of history.
And I give my advice, heartfelt, honest.
Carrie, you should go to Jerusalem for the summer. It will be the BEST decision you will have made in your life so far. TOTALLY.
But they don’t take my advice. And I am going to watch the Biggest Loser tonight and be satisfied that all is well.
As for a writing?
Well, here’s a poem from a creative writing class.
The Attic on A Rainy Afternoon
The old heavy door creaks and moans
The weight of the world on its rusted hinges
The dust thick, the smell mildew
The light dim for the small paned window
At the end of the narrow room
And then transformed
Candles and tea bags and blanket forts
Darkness turned to light, dreary turned to art
The pounding of the rain on the shingles above
The spider in the corner, someday a foe to female sensitivity
Now a friend, a comrade in the day
The adventures of heroes rescuing ships
Held captive by pirates unseen
All the belief and dream carried in a child’s spirit
Held here in the dust and warmth
And then held silent as the weight of the world
Closes down on rusty hinges
I’m sorry you are having such a bad day – or series of bad ones. That stinks! On Thursday, we should get together if you are feeling up to it – if not, you should send all your kids over and take some much needed YOU time!
Carrie, GO to JERUSALEM!! Please, it’s one of my biggest regrets getting accepted and not going. I’ll give you $100 if you choose to go. Anj, I love you. Just don’t forget you are a princess and the map of the universe is on your very own finger.
It’s too late to go to Jerusalem. At this point I would have to put off graduation another semester and go in the fall. Can’t I just go be a bum and live in a hostel in Jerusalem? It would be a lot cheaper than the $10,000 the Jerusalem center cost.
P.S. Usually I do take your advice…at some point I gotta live my own life though.