Thoughts on Thursday

This morning I was talking to myself in my head (because I’m the only one who listens) about random things –

Like sledding off the roof when I was growing up.

And searching for secret passage ways.

And how we build tunnels into every bush and hedge in a five neighbor radius.

And other things too –

Like how delicious hot tea (peppermint, herbal of course) is when your throat is thick.

How I came to love tea when I lived in Russia.

Because when in Rome – or Russia (as the case may be) . . .

But then I guess it’s good I was offered tea and not vodka. 😀

I want to be good at painting. Like paint great things. And not just watercolors (my default since high school).

I had a coupon to Michaels for 40% off all fine art materials INCLUDING SALE ITEMS that expired last week.

But I couldn’t get the energy to pack up all the kids to go.

But now I wish I had.

And I wish Melinda lived closer so she could give me art lessons.

And I also wish I was an awesome photographer – not just picture taker of my kids and occasional family members.

But real cool photography.

I’m adding it to my list of things to do once I am feeling better.

Yesterday I watched a little pick-me-up video from the LDS church.

It talked about how when you are discouraged, infirm, or ill, to turn your thoughts outward to others.

And I realized I am a crap-head.

Because I have been MO selfish this past month. My poor family has been demoted to corndogs two meals a day (and cold cereal for the other one). My house has not been cleaned unless others have done it for me. And my poor, lovely children have not been played with in weeks and weeks.

Last night Olivia even went all the way downstairs to get Wyatt who was watching a basketball game, to come upstairs and help Calvin down off the bathroom sink, while I lay in bed just feet away. I could have gotten him, but I didn’t even know he was having trouble. And the kids don’t even come to me anymore for help! They just go straight to Wyatt. That’s how bad of a mamma I’ve been!!

So today I got up determined to do something. I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher.

I’m **hoping** to get my entire kitchen cleaned.

And to do two loads of laundry.

Because Everett hasn’t worn clothes in a full week.

Wish me luck.

Olivia told me today that having a baby was really hard.

And I told her it sure was, but it was also SO exciting!

And then we sat in the rocker, and I told her about when I was expecting her – how I threw up ALL the time, and yet I was so excited. I told her about buying the rocker so I could hold her and rock her and read to her. I told her about decorating her room and getting things ready for her because I was so so SO SO SOOO EXCITED.

And how we are just as excited for this baby. Plus there’s even more people to be excited, because Olivia and Calvin and Everett can be excited too.

But in the mean time – it’s January 27th – which is the greatest thing EVER because that means in just a few days all of January will be over for a whole year! And I will have survived this month. And somehow having January behind me makes me think I might make it through this afterall.

Now, to go clean the kitchen.

PS – Today is January 27th, which means it is also Jena’s birthday! HIP HIP HURRAY! Jena, I want you to know that I am grateful for all the good things that you are in my life. I love you!