Over the Christmas break, my super-hero-brother-in-law restored to me some of my long lost blog posts from (one of my) blog crash a year ago. One of the first posts I recovered was about my New Years goals for 2010. I laughed/cringed as I read my post.
To summarize: My goals for 2010 were
- Become a fashionista – ha, in this there is no way to describe the depths or breadths of my failure.
- Become good at laundry – note to self, post picture right here of the laundry that is piled in my hallway right now. That will prove my failure in this beyond a shadow of a doubt.
- Start a little photo biz – well, I tried. And I discovered useful things. Things like – I like photography on my terms. Sigh, failure.
- Jump into the craft and art of quilting – a long admired art form. Hmmm. Never even so much as bought material for a quilt. Failure.
That was it. You’d think I’d be able to accomplish, or at least improve on four measly goals!
But nooooooo . . . . failure put it’s sealing stamp on the year of 2010.
Now I’ve tried in the first three weeks of the year to sit down and reflect, contemplate, ponder the effects of 2010 on my life. I wish I could say something deep, moving, meaningful that I learned, in a way in which my life will be forever changed. But that depth eludes me, and all I can come up with is a menagerie of images of moments lived in a very ordinary way.
This combined with my reminder of failure has led me to conclude that 2011 will be the year of just getting through. I’m not going to set new goals for myself, thus as the year comes to a close in 12 months, my life will not be a failure. I’m not going to force myself to be something deep, meaningful, or even consistent . . . I’m just going to continue on in my march of motherhood and wifery.
Am I a heathen? I remember my dad always teaching us growing up- we should always strive to be better, to grow, to learn, to be more than we are. Is it okay if I sit and just take a break? Is this like bowing out an hour before the master comes to the field?
I don’t know. I’m just counting on time to repent in 2012 😀
Ahh … for me also 2011 will be a year of “just getting through”. I, too, will have no goals with which to strive for more than I already am. If there was anything useful I did learn through 2010, it’s that sitting and taking a break, though honestly doesn’t feel like moving forward, at least I know it’s not moving backwards.
Besides even just sitting with no goals is not really a true reflection of life with children. For every time we do the laundry, cook a meal, or even just make it through the day with pop tarts and dirty clothes, is another meaningful day in the life of the kids. Another day of being together – and that matters everyday.
Alas, this is a hard lesson for me to live by … it’s true. But the scriptures say nothing about enduring to the end with gourmet meals and wrinkle free shirts.
It is TOTALLY ok that you bow out from goals — what are goals really? Just high achievements to make you feel overwhelmed and not adequate. Unless of course, you actually complete them, I NEVER do. So WAY to Go for doing what we are all REALLY feeling!